Lifetime of farting

Originally uploaded by jen_rab

With my head buried in my hands, I could feel the shower of saliva on my toes. No, it was a WATERFALL of saliva. Make that monsoon.

Why?

Let me tell you why. Jack, like other babies his age, loves to blow raspberries. He just so happened to be sitting at my feet during his latest raspberry blowing frenzy. Sometimes, after he purses those lips together and lets the drool fly, he has no idea what he’s done. All he knows is that it feels good on his sore gums and he makes us crack up. Sometimes he’ll forget this cool trick and then surprise himself by remembering the coolness of it all. And then the endless raspberry blowing ensues.

Enter my husband. My darling husband has many idols including Albert Einstein, Leonard Bernstein, George Hopkins, Lenny Dykstra and Doug Heffernan.

Yes, I said Doug Heffernan–the overgrown manchild portrayed by Kevin James in the now defunct show, “King of Queens.”

Doug Heffernan is this overdramatic, very opinionated, sports-loving dude’s dude who always seems to find himself in the most obscure predicaments. Perhaps this is why Jeff strikes a chord with his fictitious hero, but every episode, Doug’s angsty wife yells at him for well, being Doug.

In the show, Doug disagrees with Carrie A LOT. He always has a way to punctuate his point, but most notably, he loves to fake flatulate with his hands.

WITH HIS HANDS.

So, let’s do the math folks: Jack loves to blow raspberries. Jeff loves to imitate Doug Heffernan. Jack loves to imitate his daddy. So what do we have?

Lots of fake farting.

Jeff summed it up best, “You better get used to it. You have a lifetime of farting ahead of you.”

so true.

I’ve accepted the lifetime of farting, which makes me love my fake-farting duo even more.

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