I’ve got a huge headache this morning, and unfortunately, I’m not exhausted from a weekend trip to the tropics. I had it for the duration of my long weekend after sustaining a minor mommy injury on Saturday.

The injury report goes a little something like this: On Saturday, I woke up at 5am to a wailing, hungry baby. I brought him to our bed, in hopes that I could feed him and we could sleep a few more hours.

FAT CHANCE.

In the process of positioning the hysterical and hungry baby in my sleepy haze, Jack pummeled me with his entire paw– with my eye wide open. I finished feeding him with one eye and one arm, as the other hand cupped the injured eye that was watering profusely. I couldn’t open the injured left eye, so I had to wake Jeff from his hibernating mode to help out in yet another one of my maniacal frenzies. After resting a few hours, I still could not open my eye. The eye throbbed as my head pounded with the same intensity. Since I couldn’t open the eye, I told Jeff that he should just go out and find me an eye patch with a skull on it and be done. pirate-eye-patch2.jpg

Since CVS doesn’t sell pirate paraphernalia, he brought back eyewash and eyedrops instead. Yarrrrgh. But of course, I couldn’t open the eye, so the eye wash wasn’t too effective.

So, just to make sure I didn’t have a punctured eyeball or whatever my imagination conjured up, Jeff lugged me and the baby to the ER. wheeeeee. By this time, my eye was watering even more since I was out in the sunlight. We spent quality time in the ER; me, slouched down asleep in my sunglasses, Jeff exhausted next to me, the baby in his bubble stroller (barricading the germs of the coughing nasties next to us.) I guess we arrived at the ER’s down time because I saw the dr. after a somewhat shortish wait. The dr. dropped a numbing agent in my eye so that I could actually open it and she could assess the situation. She then dropped some yellow drops in it, turned off the lights and checked out the injured eyeball with a black light magnifying glass gizmo.

Just as Jeff google-diagnosed, I had a corneal abrasion, which is the medical jargon for, you got your eye jabbed pretty hard by your 4 month old kid.

“Well that’s good.” the dr. said. “I mean, not good-good, but at least it isn’t lacerated.”

Lacerated? The baby books don’t say a damn thing about having safety goggles on hand.

Baby punch-out jokes aside, the scratch on my cornea was serious enough to warrant an Rx for Tylenol with codeine and some medicated eyedrops to ward off any nasty infections. Sleeping off the intense pain and resting my eyes on Saturday really made a big difference. I still have the lingering eye headache today, but nothing extra strength Tylenol can’t mask. (I guess a Codeine-induced nap isn’t too acceptable at work.)
And like Rachel Green, I just cannot “do” eyedrops. In fact, last night after washing my face, I went to put my eyedrops in and at least 7 drops landed on my shirt– my aim was that bad. Since I have to do the eyedrops in order to get some relief, I guess I have no choice but to try a little harder at actually getting them IN my eye.
So, while I might not actually have a black eyepatch literally in the diaper bag, with a kid whose limbs are constantly and erratically flailing, I’m totally considering it. It would sure beat another trip to the ER.

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