It’oversized babys been a long 48 hours or so. For the past 2 days, I’ve had an oversized infant glued to me. For some, this would hardly be a problem. But for a sleep deprived new mom trying to learn the ropes, I barely have the energy to say how rough it’s been. For the most part, we were prematurely patting ourselves on the back as we left the hospital for having such an “easy” baby. Even though we’re several weeks into this parenthood thing, Jack has been fairly mild mannered. Learning his cues and cries have been the worst of it… that was, up until a few days ago.

Jeff and I joke at how much of a bruiser Jack seems to be. He seems to be a tough baby and so far from the delicate newborns you see so often. He’s a solid 12 lbs by now, he grunts and groans and is so far from delicate. When it’s timglued to mommye to burp, he belches almost as loud as his dad. He makes us laugh. So, when his grunts, groans and barfing became more frequent a few days ago, we sort of stopped laughing and got a little concerned. I did what I always do, I consulted the books and pre-diagnosed via internet and attributed Jack’s sound effects to gas and discomfort. It’s normal, I thought. So, we burped him a little longer and paid more attention to his eating pattern.
And then, last night came. Last night was probably our worst night ever. Jack became more needy than ever at about dinner time and was noticably very clingy. He then started to nurse every hour. In retrospect, he wasn’t nursing more often because he was hungry, more like because he wanted to be comforted. Having to nurse every hour for 20-30 minutes, can be very exhausting, with only 30 minute intervals of sleep for all 3 of us. Needless to say, last night was an endless night of consoling our crying infant and trying to decipher what his high-pitched shrilly cries meant.

I was still convinced that his fussiness was due to the gasiness, so I rubbed his belly and let him fall asleep on my chest after eating. Sadly, Jeff, Jack and I got almost no sleep. By 3am, I was so frustrated and angry, not because of our crying baby, but because I couldn’t console our little baby. To see his sleepy, content smirk morph into a fast upsetting frown and then uncontrollable cry, is the most difficult thing, especially at that hour of night.

Jack and I finally got moving at about noon today.  By then, I noticed more changes to the little man. What I thought was gas pains sounded more obviously like congestion discomfort. The little guy has been sneezing all morning (which we have been told was normal) but now he has a good amount of mucous. And since babies breathe out of their noses, poor Jack can barely breathe, which complicates nursing even further.
Seeing Jack so miserable and unhappy, especially since he’s been so laid back and happy for the past few weeks, makes me feel so helpless and defeated. I know it’s probably a simple cold or something due to the weather change, but nonetheless, my heart is breaking for our sad little baby.
I know dealing with his first illness and dealing with the worst of the worst at the beginning are more of those rite of passages for new parents, but they’re definitely not fun ones. We have an appointment at the pediatrician at 7pm to get more answers, and hopefully an easy diagnosis.

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