In honor of my first non-official day of maternity leave (I volunteered to work from home this week to ease the transition) I thought I’d share this hilarious, but ‘normal’ conversation with mom.

I called my mom on Friday morning to kill time before lunch and to say hello. As usual, we had another one of those conversations where everything gets misconstrued and has to be translated 3 times. 

Mom: “So, how you feeelin today? You doin’ okay?”

Me: “I’m so exhausted. I’m tired and cranky. Ugh. I’m so done.”

I could hear her heart skip a beat and start to breathe heavily.
Mom: “WHAT?????? YOU ARE DONE? WHAT YOU MEAN? YOU HAD THE BABY? ARE YOU IN THE HOSPITAL ALREADY? THE BABY IS HERRRRRRRRRE? What?

Me: “Mom? First of all, no. Look at your caller ID. I’m at work. Second of all, it’s an expression. ‘I’m done’ just means that I’m over being pregnant, as in, I’m ready for this kid to arrive.  I’m officially DONE.”

She still sounded very harried and confused.
Mom: “OH MI GAH! You scare me again! I thought you had da baby already.  I was wondering WHY would you call me after he is born?  We NEED to be there.”

Me: “Yes, mom, it’s always was my intention to trick you and hide the baby!  But no, there’s no baby yet.  Besides, by just this conversation alone, maybe we won’t call you until he’s officially here.  How will you guys be able to drive all that way if you’re this neurotic now?!”

Mom:  “iyeeeeeeeee.  We will make it.  Anything for baby!  Besides, I always know.  Maybe I will know when you’re ready to have him.  I’m still your mother, you know?”

oh Baby B. you’ve got a crazy ride ahead of you.  It’s no wonder you’re in absolutely no hurry 😉  Hang on kid.

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